powered by Bloglet

Search WWW Search this site

Haywood the Ticket Monkey   Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Rate Me on BlogHop.com!   the best pretty good okay pretty bad the worst

home | forums | archives | tools | links

Haywood Jahelpme (aka Tech Support Hell)

I am a real live tech support person. And I live in Tech Support Hell.
SAVE ME!!!! UPDATE: I have been saved!
Wanted: Techs in Support Hell needed to help keep this blog alive!

Saturday, May 31, 2003

.: 8:23 PM
posted by daddy-o

Newest case-mod released

For those times when you just can't get away, we have this little jewel.... Complete with the 3-fingered-salute foot pedals!

| Ask | Permalink

Friday, May 30, 2003

.: 4:07 PM
posted by daddy-o

Me: Go ahead and restart your computer
Mrs. Customer, whispering to herself in a puzzled tone: Restart your computer??
Me: Click on START, then SHUTDOWN, then RESTART

At least she didn't say, "Do you want me to shutdown or restart?"

| Ask | Permalink

Thursday, May 29, 2003

.: 6:42 PM
posted by daddy-o

3 Blind Mice

Norton, Microsoft and Zone Alarm

3 different terms for the same thing....

Job security for tech support. :)

| Ask | Permalink

.: 6:23 PM
posted by daddy-o

XP Security Updates and the headaches that come with them....

If you were to have trouble connecting to the Internet after doing an update from Microsoft, most people call their ISP, but now that you have read this you know now that it is a Microsoft issue, and not an ISP one.....

We have been getting customers calling in with this exact problem for the last few weeks and now there is PROOF, and proof from the proverbial horse's mouth, no less! Customers running Windows XP lose internet connectivity after running a Microsoft Security Update from the MS website. There may or may not be a firewall on the customer's system, and they can almost always pull their IP address... It is just like a classic firewall problem, where the software blocks the customer's connection out of the computer.

CNN.com - Microsoft pulls update for Windows - May. 28, 2003

| Ask | Permalink

.: 4:39 PM
posted by daddy-o

Why I love Google

Customer gets the following error message:

The message could not be opened from OUTBOX folder (Error 0x800420c8)

Now, I have never seen this error before so the first thing I did was Googlize it. Google gave me the following solution:

If you get this error, try this. In Outlook Express, go to Tools|Options|Send. Check if not checked - Send messages immediately. Or if checked, uncheck and recheck and click on Apply.

It turns out my customer had two accounts that were both set to be "Default". Don't ask me how that is possible, but I have seen it before. So I theorize that OLE was trying to send the same message using both default accounts (as it should since they are the default accounts.) Additionally, one was using authentication to send. So it really could have been any of these things... But eliminating the duplicate account in Tools>Accounts>Mail fixed his problem...

| Ask | Permalink

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

.: 8:24 PM
posted by daddy-o

Not Work Safe

Boy, she sounds like a fun person... I wonder if she needs any help with her computer...

Dirty Whore Diary

| Ask | Permalink

.: 6:16 PM
posted by daddy-o


And why do they think that they have to take the phone with them as they crawl under the desk to disconnect their cables? Please, by all means, put it down... I won't be offended, and I really don't want to go there with you...

| Ask | Permalink

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

.: 4:33 AM
posted by daddy-o

I am thinking about changing Blog tools.... Anyone have any experience with Moveable Type? It seems to be pretty powerful...


| Ask | Permalink

.: 4:28 AM
posted by daddy-o

Found this fix out of personal necesity when I could not reply to or create new email. I got this error message:

There was an error opening this message.
An error has occurred.

Additionally, as described in the MSKB Article, I saw these errors:

When you attempt to create a new e-mail message or newsgroup post, or you attempt to open the Address Book in Microsoft Outlook Express, you may receive the following error message:

Address Book failed to load. Outlook Express is incorrectly configured, please re-install.

This message is followed by one of the following error messages:

Unable to open the Address Book. The Address Book may not be installed properly.

Which made me reinstall OLE a couple times. This all happened because I was trying to get my old store folder into this new computer, which makes me wonder what it is my customers are doing when they hose their computers.... Whatever....

I tried renaming wab32.dll and then reinstalling OLE, which did not work either, so when I came across this KB article, I was quite stoked to find that the solution was as simple as rename the old address book and then import it into OLE (where there is now no contact list) thru the OLE Import Wizard (File>Import>Point to file). It was apparent to me that the address book was corrupt, but it never occured to me to do something so simple!

| Ask | Permalink

Monday, May 26, 2003

.: 11:56 PM
posted by daddy-o


Judge: File-swapping tools are legal

A federal judge hands a stunning court victory to file-swapping services Streamcast and Grokster, dismissing much of the music and film industries' lawsuits against them.

Now if the industry arseholes (RIAA) would just quit trying to hack into our computers and some good business sense and butt out of the file sharing business, then we would be good to go!

BusinessWeek Online: News from C|Net.com

| Ask | Permalink

.: 6:26 PM
posted by daddy-o

I am invisible apparently

Customer just told me that she wished she had someone there to help her....

I wondered aloud: "What am I? Chopped liver?" and my team leader replied back from across the room: "Yes, you are" Of course he had no idea of the context of my statement...

| Ask | Permalink

.: 3:13 PM
posted by daddy-o

Weird Error

Error: Win 2K, customer gets this error when checking her ipconfig at the DOS prompt:

Application failed to initialize properly 0xC000142 (or was it 0xC0000142 ?)

Fix: Set DHCP Client service to Manual Startup and rebooted based on the info I found here:

The application failed to initialize properly (0xc000142). Click OK to terminate the application.

This error occurs when a Windows program (often running as a service) restricts access to OpenGL. FLUENT automatically starts up in OpenGL mode, therefore, you must stop the program that has exclusive control over OpenGL. If this program is running as a service, change the Startup Type of the service to Manual.

I am not sure what FLUENT is, but this fix worked for me and my cust is back online.... This may have been a Win 2K password issue that is now resolved....

DHCP Client service is located here> Start>Settings>Control Panel>Administrative Tools>Services.

| Ask | Permalink

.: 3:08 PM
posted by daddy-o

More Misconceptions:

Refer to this post for the others...

6) You should type everything in LOWER CASE unless otherwise specified...
7) Just because your phone works in a power outage, does not mean that your PC should (or will) work.

| Ask | Permalink

.: 2:32 PM
posted by daddy-o


1) I cannot see what you are doing right now on your computer. Especially if you are not able to get on the Internet. It just does not work that way.
2) I cannot see your password, and if I reset it for you, you will need to type in the default password (ie, I cannot type it that for you, or any of your other settings for that matter...)
3) I cannot help you with hardware or software that we did not provide you (this includes your router, Anti virus software and/or firewall, your computer's operating system, etc...)
4) You cannot change your username or password in Outlook Express (or any other email program for that matter). You actually have to change it on our website and then make those changes in the program.
5) I do not follow a script. All troubleshooting is done from the top of my head

This list will be updated as I come across more or think of others I am forgetting.... I originally titled this TOP 10 MISCONCEPTIONS OF TECH SUPPORT, but have not been able to come up with 10.... I know there are at least 10, though, if not more! Oh well....

| Ask | Permalink

.: 1:54 PM
posted by daddy-o


Me: Thank you for calling < ISP.net >, this is Haywood, I can help you.
Mr Customer: Yeah, I cant get online at my new house.
Me: I can help you with that. Can you verify the name on the account for me?
Mr Customer: **NAME**
Me: And the street address?
Mr Customer: Uhm, I don't know that one...
Me: Maybe you have a bill lying around somewhere?
Mr Customer: Nope, it's in my dad's name. I know the street name...
Me: Well, the address should be located somewhere near the front door on the outside of the house...

| Ask | Permalink

Thursday, May 22, 2003

.: 4:21 AM
posted by daddy-o

What is that ticket number?

Me: Thank you for calling < ISP.net >, this is Haywood, I can help you.
Mr. Customer: OK
Me: Uhm, OK
Mr. Customer: OhhhhhKaaaaayyyy..... Did the last person brief you?
Me: No. Did he or she give you a ticket number
Mr. Customer: Yes. Do you need that?
Me: Uhm, yeah. What is that ticket number? (smile, while squeezing stress release ball)

Consider yourself lucky that you GOT a ticket! You would be surprised at how many customers get escalated to Level II with no documentation that they even called in. This is not good. The purpose of the "ticket" is so that I don't have to be "briefed". It is also supposed to save you time and make it easier for us to track problems. You customers will have to eventually catch on. That's all there is to it. No more of those spaced out intros..

Could just as easily happen on the very next customer:
Me: Thank you for calling < ISP.net >, this is Haywood, I can help you.
Ms. Customer: Silence
Me muted: Sheesh! Here we go again....
Me: Hi? I can help you.....
Ms. Customer: Well, she said she was going to send me to a level 2 person.
Me: Well, here you are. I can help you. Did she give you a ticket number?
Ms. Customer: Yes, it is .....

For some reason they expect me to know all about their problem, when in fact the rep gave them the ticket so that the customer can let Tier II know about the problem by just telling me the magic ticket number. And they can't even manage that.... Oh well. I guess that is what makes them customers and me tech support.... :)

| Ask | Permalink

.: 4:18 AM
posted by daddy-o


Well I was just noticing that there have not been many updates lately.... Well, I have known this for a while, but hey, I'm busy! Anyway... Here are some random customer comments that I feel are worth sharing with y'all:

Ms. Customer: Every time I open my email, I get an error
Me: What's the error?
Ms. Customer: Error

Ms. Customer: I am having a problem with the SLQ server
Me: Do you mean SQL server?
Ms. Customer: Yeah, I guess
Me: Well, I can't help you, as I know nothing about that.
BIG LIE -- this is sooooooo unsupported, but this has proven the easiest way for me to get you out of my ear....

This customer had a pretty thick Indian accent, so I think something might have gotten lost in the translation (on his part)
Mr. Customer: A young lady was helping me, but we didn't click
Me: No pun intended?
Mr. Customer: No, no, no, nothing like that.
Me: ????

Me: There should be an Internet Explorer icon on your desktop somewhere, let's go ahead and click on that.
Mr. Customer: Well, I am a former AOL user
Me: There should be a little picture of a blue E somewhere on your desktop, let's go ahead and click on that.
Me: Our home page is www.ISPwebsite.com
Mr. Customer: Should I go there?
Me: That is up to you.

After asking the customer to bypass their home network and direct connect to the modem:
Mr. Customer: Actually, I can't do that.
Me: Then actually, I can't help you.

| Ask | Permalink

Friday, May 09, 2003

.: 8:14 PM
posted by daddy-o

Rube Goldburg Device

This has absolutely nothing to do with tech support, or even computers, but this is the coolest thing I have seen in a while... No computer generation involved at all!

Honda's New Accord

| Ask | Permalink

contact | Why? Why? Why? Watch This! | Projects | Blogroll Me!
Forums | home | archives | ping
B5 d++ t k- s u- f- i- o x- e- l- c-

Search Popdex: